How to See That Children Are The Blessing

Since the midwives feared God, he gave them families. Exodus 1:21

The nation of Israel was under intense persecution, and Pharoah had ordered that all male babies be killed by the midwives Shiprah and Puah. These lovely ladies decided not to do what Pharoah asked of them and let the boys live. When Pharoah asked why they hadn’t killed the babies, they lied and said that the babies were being born before they could get there. Then the Lord blessed them by giving them families of their own. 

There’s a lot to unpack there I want to focus on how God blessed them. They found favor with God, and God’s way of blessing those midwives was to give them children for themselves. The children were the blessing. 

God repeats this sentiment in Psalms 127:3 “Offspring are a reward from him.”

Children are one of the ways that the Lord chooses to bless us. And what a blessing it is! Having these little ones who make life so much more interesting, exciting and fun is a privilege. 

The Challenges of Parenting

The other side is that children also make life way more challenging, exhausting, and hard. In the thick of parenthood, it can be so easy to default back to the challenging parts of parenthood rather than the good.

I was talking with a friend this weekend about parents being able to “commiserate” together. We do this a lot, don’t we? We explain the difficulties we’re having with each kid, we try to brainstorm solutions together, or we simply nod in agreement because it is just so hard. Some days it feels too hard, like the battle is always going to be uphill and there is no hope in sight. 

However, we get so lost in the details that we forget the joys until they smack us in the face. Some lose sight forever of the joys of parenthood, and there are no positive outcomes out of that. 

Reshaping Your Mindset

Philippians 4:8 says “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”

So what if we did that? What if instead of commiserating, we looked at different ways to reframe our struggles and find joy?

There are joys in parenthood. For example:

• When your child learns a new skill, it’s exciting.
• Looking at the world through their eyes is immensely fascinating.
• Being able to see their child wonder at the world around them gives me wonder.
• Watching your kid work incredibly hard at something and achieve it gives a sense of pride that no one could prepare you for.
• The things that kids come up with, the sayings and the way that their brains work, often have me and my husband laughing.

I know without a doubt that I laugh and smile more now than I did before kids. 

It is a privilege to watch these kids grow up and see who they are going to be. It is a privilege to get to love them each day and have them love you back (even if it doesn’t seem like it some days). It is a privilege to get to feed them, take care of them, and pour into them. Kids are a blessing straight from God. 

In the hard times, and in the good times, the fact that they are a blessing does not change. Our attitude about children will show up in how we parent them, how we talk about them, and how we feel about them. If we see them as a “duty” or a responsibility that we are stuck with, that will affect how we treat them. Kids often know a lot more than we give them credit for. 

In the hard times, and in the good times, the fact that they are a blessing does not change.

I don’t even think we are negative on purpose. I look back and see myself doing this often without really evaluating my intentions. I say things like “enjoy it while you can” to people who don’t have kids yet. Sure, I don’t get to go to the movies anymore, but I get to experience the joy of being a sense of comfort to my children in a way that no one else will get to experience with them. Why aren’t I focusing on that more rather than what I am temporarily missing out on?

Our Struggles Are Temporary

Every age and every stage is very temporary. Somehow that perspective is much clearer after the stage is over. And someday, I will look back at this time with fondness, wishing I could go back to having babies, or kids that have questions that are easy to answer.

So why not try to find the fondness now? Why not focus on the good, the funny, the silly things that our kids do rather than the difficult times? 

We have to rewire our brains to do so. We want to commiserate with other moms, we want to talk about how little sleep we got, or how difficult potty training is. However, I would push you (and myself) to end the day thinking about a good thing that you’re child did, and try to give our attention and emotional energy to the positive things that happen every day rather than the negatives. The negatives will come, and they will be difficult, but remember that there’s always some good in there too. 

Pray About It

The first step is to decide for yourself that they are a blessing and not a burden, and then just remind yourself over and over when life gets tough.

Firstly, pray about it. Pray for your children, pray for your attitude and pray for your family. In the trenches of parenthood, we have to pray about every aspect to keep ourselves from going insane. There’s a reason that we have the Holy Spirit to help guide us in these tough times because they are tough.

Parenthood is a process of sanctification. It is one of the few times that I can see real growth in myself. I know that when I had one baby, I would get so overwhelmed. I started buying coffee creamer instead of putting cream and sugar in my coffee because I told myself that I didn’t have time to put sugar and cream in my coffee because my baby needed me. I look back on that now as I’m on my third kid and think that I must’ve been insane. First of all, that is seconds that I am saving, and second, a baby can wait for a minute while mom fixes her coffee.

But I know that as I’ve gotten older and been a parent longer my capacity has increased and I can see that the Lord has made me more patient and self-sacrificing (although I’ve got a long way to go!).

We are not alone in this. Pray for the ability to see the good. In the verse above I especially love the idea of thinking about lovely things. Do you ever meet someone who is just lovely? You want to be around them! They have a graceful way of looking at the world.

So lets pray together that our thoughts would be lovely. And that our thoughts towards our children would be lovely. And that the lovely thoughts we have about our children would outpour into love for them that they can feel and hold onto.

Sound lovely, right?

Of course, I’m living in a dream world, but God can do all things. He can help us to have lovely thoughts. He can change our mindset. He can calm us down when we’re spitting mad, and he can help us to see the blessing that our kids are.

Attitude of Gratitude

Having a place where we can write down the blessing that our kids are helps as well. A gratitude journal or a note on your phone where you keep track of your blessings will help you keep a positive perspective.

Get the kids involved too! What is something nice that your sibling did for you today? What are you thankful for that mom and dad provided for you?

Don’t you think that this will help them have lovely thoughts too?

Conclusion

Think through these questions and spend time with the Lord thinking about each of your children and writing down the answers

• What has my child done today that was good?
• What joy have I seen today?
• How are my children a blessing today?
• Are my thoughts towards this child lovely?