Your Identity is in Christ, Not Motherhood

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. ~Galatians 2:20

When my firstborn was 9 months old I had a complete breakdown. It was messy. My husband didn’t know how to help me, I didn’t know what to do anymore. It felt like all I had time for was my daughter, and what little time was left over I should spend on cleaning the house.

Looking back at it now it seems utterly ridiculous. I remember distinctly telling my mom that I didn’t have time to bake a batch of cookies because that would take time away from my child.

I was completely, totally lost in motherhood.

I had never experienced anything like it, and it consumed me. I was so determined to be a good mom, that I didn’t allow myself to be anything else.

Who You Are Matters

You are not just a mom. You are so much more than what you can offer to your children. You were your distinct person before you had kids, and that can continue even after. It’s hard, it takes work, but it is completely possible.

There are well-meaning adults in my life who just refer to me as “Mama,” or “Mom.” Probably because they’ve seen me pregnant for most of the last 6 years.

However, it grinds my gears.

I simply refuse now to be only known as a mom.

Of course, I love being a mom, and since I stay home with my little kids, it does consume most of my time. However…

There is so much more to me! And to you.

But when I look at the whole of my life I want my life to be defined by loving the Lord.

I want my identity to be in Christ, not motherhood, my hobbies, or any other part of me.

I was a whole, complete person before my husband and my children, and I continue to be a whole person. And with all of my being, I want to be known by, and defined by Christ.

How You Define Your Worth

You’re worth as a human comes from how God sees you. For me, that worth comes from the fact that God calls me his daughter. I am redeemed by Him.

But it is oh so easy to put my worth into how my children are doing.

One of the big struggles with being a mom is that people are constantly judging your parenting, and judging how your children behave. It’s something I am still struggling to accept, but I’ve had so many examples of it that I know that everyone is judging.

So when I feel like someone doesn’t think that I’m doing a good job of parenting, or if I have kids that are acting out in public, then I feel shame.

When my kids are melting down in public I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It’s embarrassing. I’m supposed to be able to avoid this.

However, I have to remind myself that the metric of which I judge myself is how God sees me, not how others see me.

I’m sure God wants me to be successful in parenting, but the state of my heart is more important.

It is a constant battle for moms to put God in front of our children, and seek his approval more than anyone else’s.

You are more than your parenting skills. You are more than your cleaning skills. You are more than what you can produce.

You are a child of God. That is where we need to root our identities.

Ultimately, all of it fades away except for Christ. Our kids grow up and move out, our houses become less cluttered, it all goes away. But God and our relationship with Him lasts forever.